To be successful, we need to believe in ourselves, to lean in, to speak up, to be confident! But, we’ve all been in situations where we wanted to say something but didn’t have the nerve or the confidence (you know, heart pounding, butterflies in your stomach). The moment passes and we beat ourselves up for missing that golden opportunity and not saying what we wanted to say.
So if you find yourself in that situation over and over, then I have some tips that I find very instrumental to build your self-confidence and conquer this fear!
- Start small and give yourself a specific goal: “I will speak up once at the next project meeting” or “I will follow-up with Suzy from the conference this week”. When you set specific goals like this and follow through on them, you improve your self-confidence dramatically.
- Don’t diminish your own credibility: saying “I’m not sure about this.. “, “this may be stupid, but..”, or “I’m not an expert..” sends the wrong message to your audience. Instead, try using “what if we..” or “how about..”; this allows you to share your thoughts and seek your audience’s feedback.
- Practice makes perfect: you have an amazing tool in your hands – your smartphone! So go ahead and make a video of yourself pitching that idea or presenting your plan; then critique it with someone you trust to identify your strengths and pinpoint the things you need to improve like your body language. Starting with a smaller audience will be much less intimidating and will give you the boost you need when you are speaking, real time, in front of a larger audience.
- Reward yourself: find meaningful ways to recognize and celebrate your progress. I have a small jar with “You Rock!” on it. Every time, I step out of my comfort zone and speak up, I put $1 in that jar with a Post-it® noting the date and the achievement.
Speaking up may not come naturally to the majority of us. Be realistic and don’t expect the change to happen overnight (according to a 2009 study, new behaviors and habits take time to become routine – on average, 66 days to be exact). So if you keep trying and following this advice, you may just find yourself becoming the next Oprah.
Here’s to your success!